“THE WILD MONKEES”

Teaser Sequence:

Micky Dolenz performs an alternate take of “Goin’ Down” alone on a dark stage in multiple versions and different colored lights as he dances and sings, under a swath of superimposed saxophones, trombones and guitars.

Synopsis:

The Monkees arrive by Monkeemobile in a town for a gig at a hotel. Following a map, Micky states that they should be right at their destination, The Henry Cabot Lodge; Michael retorts, "Well, that's groovy; I always wanted to play a gig in a prairie dog hole!" Suddenly they are buzzed by a motorcycle gang twice and eat their dust, causing Michael to cough so much that Micky scares him out of coughing at gunpoint! Peter then gives Michael water to drink (from The Monkeemobile’s petrol tank!) driving him into a choking fit! After seeing the sign “Henry Cabot Lodge and Cemetery (If You Are Dying To Have a Good Time, Come and See Us)”, The Cool Quartet book up at the hotel to find it surrounded by senior citizens (one of whom is covered in cobwebs!). The lodge manager, Blauner, comes out to greet them, assuming they must be the band. He assures them he’s expecting some young people – a “travel club” of lovely folks. Meanwhile, the motorcycle gang outside is seen demolishing the “Henry Cabot Lodge” sign.

When The Monkees come down from putting their things in their room, they all fall down the steps (aided by a shaky cam effect on the exterior of the lodge!). Blauner makes it clear they’re not hired as a band; they’re here to be the waiter, bellhop, and gardener and if they happen to play music, great. Micky calls it the “old badger game” and starts to protest that he’s taking advantage of their need for money, but when he gets to the end of the sentence David, Micky and Peter all in uniforms for work in those positions, respectively, while Michael gets a mandolin (magically appearing in his mouth!) as a "strolling musician." Blauner orders the employed Monkees to take care of the guests, and, right on cue, the motorcycle gang drive their bikes into the lobby. They’re well covered, with helmets, jeans, leather jackets, scarves, and sunglasses over their faces. When Micky approaches one and ask to help with the luggage, a very tall biker stands up. David approaches another biker and offers something to eat, then freaks when the biker stands up and is about a foot taller than him. Peter starts dusting and vacuuming a biker, who stands up and brenapsak the vacuum hose. Michael serenades another biker with his new mandolin.

The biker grabs David, who starts to panic and begs his biker, “please don’t kill me!” The biker kisses him instead; after the kiss, she reveals herself as a pretty blonde woman, Queeny (David: "Kill me! Kill me some more!"). She comments, “You’re cute” and kisses him some more. All the women take off their helmets to reveal they are all indeed pretty women: Nan, Jan and Ann. Blauner orders The Monkees to “make the guests happy” so they walk them upstairs with their suitcases. After settling them in, The Monkees' attempt to woo their respective motorcycle chicks unfortunately go up in flames. David sits with Queenie at a table and struggles to open the wine for her. She grabs the cork with her teeth and spits it into Blauner’s mouth. The tall redhead, Ann, tells Michael that he reminds her of someone that she could cuddle with and go to whenever she felt sad…which she reveals to be a cocker spaniel. Peter recites to his tall blonde partner, Jan, “a jug of bread, a loaf of wine, and thou beside me in the wilderness.” She thinks his poetry is beautiful but turns down his request for a date because, “let’s face it man, you’re a sissy!” Micky’s girl, Nan, has taken to calling him Fuzzy. Micky wants to kiss her, but she makes it clear he’ll get “a rap in the mouth” if he does. Micky condescendingly says “Don’t be silly, my pet!” and kisses her neck anyway…and she indeed knuckle-sandwiches him across the room (well, she warned him!).

The Monkees confer in their room where Peter suggests they’re not treating the girls “rough enough” with the girls and Micky agrees. Deciding they must get really, really rough to win them, the guys, in a fantasy sequence, imagine a School Of Hard Knocks And Bruises, under the tutelage of Micky (mounted on a motorcycle whose engine is still running!); there, after taking the pledge, Micky inspects their hands and compliments Michael and David on their dirty hands but chides Peter on his clean hands ("You're a renegade, not a dentist!") and threatens to kick him out of the club in 3 seconds if he doesn't do something about it. Peter dashes out and returns with muddy hands, and is won over by his mates. Later the guys in Marlon Brandoesque-leather gear as motorcycle freaks, learn that the girls, now wearing ordinary clothes (who also tumble down the stairs to the lobby!), are tired of the open road. The Monkees still attempt to impress them with their tough-guy act with Micky failing with a karate chop on the table; and David explaining they're so tough, they kill their new members for initiation! But the girls reject them claiming they are too tough, which is the reason they left their boyfriends, The Black Angels, a for-real motorcycle gang comprised of Big Frank, Big Neal, Big Bruce and Big Butch, the leader.

This scares the guys since they remember them as the same gang responsible for a recent massacre at Pismo Beach! David, Peter, Micky and Michael start backing out the front door…only to run right into Butch, Frank, Neil and Bruce, who are four actual tough, rough and dirty-looking men. The Monkees turn and they keel over, much to The Angels' delight. Butch keeps shoving The Monkees about until he backs them into the front desk. He then tries to challenge them into a fight because they stole his woman, but the boys, who claim themselves to be The Chickens, decline as it is against their club regulations. But David nearly loses his temper and makes ready to take him on until the others talk him down. The situation is made worse when Micky inadvertently effronts Queeny when she comes to their defense. Butch challenges them to an Annual Best Riders Contest, where first prize is a chance for the contestant to destroy everything in sight, including himself! In their room that night, the guys hold a meeting discussing what they should do. Peter moves that they fight, as "Our honor has been smeershed...uh, smerped...be-dirtied...well, they hurt my feelings!" But Micky objects to Peter's motion, as "fighting is, #1, unconstitutional; #2, it is very fruitless in solving a problem; and #3, you can really, really get hurt!" Michael, as The Chickens' duly elected president, moves that they take some immediate course of action: leaving! The boys try to escape but Butch and Neil blocks their path.

The next morning, The Monkees and the Black Angels prepare for the motorcycle race in front of a crowd. The Wild Angels start out by emitting a severely loud war cry! The Monkees/Chickens retort with their own "war cry": clucking and squawking! Queeny announces the start of The Black Angels Olympics, and Monkees and Angels are sent running for their cycles. Then, the racing official fires the starting gun, and a wild motorcycle race set to “Star Collector” ensues. While Micky, Michael and David zoom off with The Black Angels, Peter is stuck behind at the starting line, having to cope with mechanical problems with his bike (obviously it doesn't have enough "Tork" [torque]!), and so he misses out. During the race, Micky gets hit with newspapers and a stuffed chimp metaphorically appears on his back. A construction worker eats lunch on the race route and Butch steals his sandwich. Micky ties Butch’s bike to a tree at a stop but Butch just pulls it out of the ground. (Stand-in David Pearl approaches Micky on his bike, dusts him with a feather duster, and dons his yellow sunglasses.)

The Black Angels end up winning the race; The Monkees stand there with open arms expecting the girls to embrace them, but surprisingly they all pass them and run to The Black Angels! Butch wants to know who to destroy first. The Monkees decide on drawing straws, but Butch grabs Micky and decides to either tear him apart single-handedly or crush him with his bike. Queeny wants no bar of it, and threatens to break it off with Butch forever should he harm Micky. Butch cares not whom he destroys, he just wants to destroy somebody; Michael suggests a friend who lives in Pismo Beach (the site of The Angels' massacre). Queeny tells Butch she's tired of the open road, and the dirt and the grime and the bugs in her teeth, and wants to settle down. To which a shocked Butch declares, "Well, that tears it!" “We could settle down!" continues Queeny, "we could build illegal motorcycles and raise little scooters!” Blauner suggests they could settle there and work for him if he promises not to destroy anything. Butch is not sure of what to say at first, but Queeny tells him "Say 'yes'!" Butch says, “Okay! My woman speaks for me!” and they kiss.

Pledge of The School Of Hard Knocks And Bruises:

“We pledge to Obey the Laws of Dirt And Violence, to Curb our Desire For A Bath, and to Offend All Living Things!”

Production Notes:

In the final draft of Stan Ross and Corey Upton's original script for “The Wild Monkees”, The Henry Cabot Lodge's proprietor was originally named "Mr. Schwimmer."

An excerpt from “The Wild Monkees”' script included as part of the booklet for the 1995 Monkees Deluxe Limited Edition Boxed Set (R3 2960) erroneously credits Neil Burstyn as its cowriter.

“The Wild Monkees” was the first filmed episode of The Monkees in which Michael Nesmith appeared without his wool hat. Also, it's the last Monkees episode to be produced with a studio laugh track mixed in.

The day after this segment went to air saw the release of Monkees’ album #4, otherwise known to one and all as Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd. (Colgems #COM/COS-104).

The version of “Star Collector” used in this segment is alternate to that which was used on PAC&J, as it featured no Moog Synthesizer parts dubbed over it. This is the first of 6 Monkees episode appearances of the Goffin-King tune, ranking it second to “Last Train To Clarksville” (and tying with “Goin’ Down”) as the most frequently-used Monkee songs on the show.

Collector's Note: A full-length alternate stereo version of the pre-Moog mix of “Star Collector” has been discovered and included as a bonus selection on Disc 1 of Rhino's July 10, 2007 2-CD Deluxe Edition reissue of Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd. (R2 77767).

“Goin’ Down” (also making its debut on the series in this segment) appears at the inset of this episode and the outset of Episode No. 45, “The Monkees In Texas” in a unique alternate version which was particularly recorded with “live” vocals from Micky. This was filmed during the final day of production of "The Wild Monkees," on October 6, 1967. A few minutes from the tail end of this alternate take can be heard in the opening seconds of the teaser sequence to Episode No. 51, "The Monkee's Paw".

This is the only occurrence of a musical number in the teaser sequence of a Monkees episode.

Listen for a certain musical sting in this episode in the scene where Micky tries to break a table in half with his hand (and almost breaks his hand in the process!). This cue is reused in the scene from Episode No. 49, "The Monkees Watch Their Feet" (a.k.a. "Micky And The Outer Space Creatures"), where David and Peter enter the main office of UFO Headquarters and greet The Captain (Stuart Margolin).

Aside from penning Episode No. 40, "The Monkees Marooned", and “The Wild Monkees” (with Corey Upton), every fourth episode of Batman (ABC, 1966-68), and later multiple episodes of All In The Family (CBS, 1971-79), Banacek (NBC, 1972-74), and KIDS Incorporated (Disney Channel/Synd., 1984-93), writer Stanley R. Ross also had a hand in scripting 2 third-season segments of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (NBC, 1964-68): "The Thor Affair" (#8428, first aired Oct. 28, 1966) and "The Deadly Smorgasboard Affair" (#8411, first aired Jan. 13, 1967) (The Man From U.N.C.L.E. followed The Monkees on NBC during the first half of the 1967-68 season, prior to its cancellation at midseason). Ross also was largely responsible for the live action New, Original Wonder Woman/New Adventures Of Wonder Woman (ABC/CBS, 1975-79); developing it for TV, scribing numerous episodes, and casting Lynda Carter and Lyle Waggoner in the starring roles.

CBS Saturday Afternoon repeats of “The Wild Monkees” found its audiotrack remixed to replace “Star Collector” with “Looking For The Good Times”, a Boyce-Hart-composed staple from The Monkees' 8th album, The Monkees Present Micky, David, Michael. Its second CBS repeat, on September 5, 1970, wrapped up a sensational first season of repeats of The Monkees on The Eye Network.

Micky, Michael and David, all experienced motorcyclists, did their own motorcycle stunts in the “Star Collector” romp.

The scene of The Monkees' meeting in their room at The Henry Cabot Lodge And Cemetery (as The Chickens) was filmed on the set previously used in Episode No. 37, "Art For Monkee's Sake", as the museum's basement where Peter was held captive. It was first used in Episode No. 18, “I Was A Teenage Monster”, as the laboratory for mad scientist Dr. Mendoza (John Hoyt), and then the interior of The Sweat Shop Gymnasium in No. 20, “The Monkees In The Ring”.

Trivia Notes:

This episode is an affectionate parody of The Wild One, a 1954 Columbia picture starring Marlon Brando as Johnny Strabler, ringleader of a gang of 40 motorcyclists, The Black Rebels, who gatecrash a legitimate motorcycle race. (Conicdentally, Michael Nesmith gives brief mention of Marlon Brando in Episode No. 34, "The Picture Frame" [a.k.a. "The Bank Robbery"]; so does Micky Dolenz in No. 44, "Hitting The High Seas".)

Monkee stand-ins David Price, David Pearl and Ric Klein have unbilled cameos as a construction worker (about to eat a sandwich which is immediately snatched by passerby Big Butch), a man with a feather duster (who comes in and dusts Micky), and a racing official, respectively.

“The Wild Monkees”' original storyline reveals a rejected conclusion in which Queenie stops Butch from harming David and proposes to the former. The Monkees play at their wedding, and the bride and groom ride off on their cycles, still clad in their wedding refinery. Also, the synopsis revealed that Black Angels Big Neal and Big Bruce were preceded by Big Harry and Big Ned.

"A jug of bread, a loaf of wine, and thou beside me in the wilderness," a poem which Peter cords to Jan (Christine Williams), is based loosely on The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, by Edward Fitzgerald (1809-1883): "A book of verse beneath the bough/A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou Beside me in the wilderness -- /And wilderness is paradise, now."

Lute in hand, Michael quotes poetry to one of the motorcycle members: "You're a thing of beauty to behold, sitting...like a manifold." His prose is based on the first stanza of Endymion, Book I, composed by John Keats (1795–1821): "A thing of beauty is a joy to behold forever."

Micky can be heard whimpering the phrase "6-to-one and half-a-dozen on the other!", a line which was first rendered in Episode No. 2, “Monkee See, Monkee Die”, by Lea Marmer (as Mme. Roselle).

“The Wild Monkees” would not be the last Michael Nesmith would hear of biker films - he would compose the music used in the obscure 1976 Cannon biker film Northville Cemerary Massacre.

The Henry Cabot Lodge is, of course, named after Richard Nixon’s Vice-Presidential running mate in 1960.

The Chickens' former monikers: The Fearful Four, The Cowards, and The Yellowbellies.

Micky and Peter are seen wearing the exact same clothing they will wear in the next episode, "A Coffin Too Frequent", whereas David is seen wearing the same neck ascot he did in the previous episode, No. 41, "The Card-Carrying Red Shoes".

The scene where David finagles with a champagne bottle (while trying to open it for Queeny) is reminiscent of a gag in Episode No. 13, “One Man Shy” (a.k.a. "Peter And The Debutante"), which saw him in disguise as a waiter pounding the cork into another champagne bottle (so that Ronnie Farnsworth [George Furth] would have a hard time trying to open it!).

The scene where Micky sticks up Michael at gunpoint parallels a similar scene in Episode No. 14, “Dance, Monkee, Dance”, where The Monkees pull out snub-nosed pistols and mug The Dancing Smoothies; it more directly parallels Micky and Michael's holdup scene to distract guards from The Maltese Vulture in No. 16, "The Son Of A Gypsy".

This episode is another of many occasions which find The Monkees holding a meeting. Previous Monkee meetings were held in Episode No. 1, “The Royal Flush” (an army briefing), No. 10, “Here Come The Monkees” (Original Pilot Film) (a board meeting at a mock law firm of Vanessa Russell & Vanessa), No. 11, “The Monkees A La Carte”, and No. 28, “The Monkees On The Line”.

This is the first of 2 episodes of The Monkees this season to feature racing; the second is No. 53, "The Monkees Race Again" (a.k.a. "Leave The Driving To Us").

The red tuxedo jacket worn by David is the same one he wore in Episode No. 11, “The Monkees A La Carte”, and No. 30, “The Monkees In Manhattan” (a.k.a “The Monkees Manhattan Style”).

Also this is one of 4 occasions which see all four Monkees being wooed by women! Others can be found in Episode No. 29, “The Monkees Get Out More Dirt” and No. 54, "The Monkees In Paris" (a.k.a. "The Paris Show"), and the movie HEAD. 

Guest Cast Notes:

May 1958 Playboy Playmate of the Month Corinne Cole (another one??) has an uncredited role in “The Wild Monkees” as Queenie. Model/actress Corinne Cole (nee Corinne Elaine Kegley) was briefly known as Lari Laine early in her career. She portrayed Miss January in Murderers' Row (Columbia, 1966), Janice Kane in The Party (United Artists, 1968), and Judy in The Limit (Cannon, 1972).

Jennifer "Ginny" Gan (Ann) was best known for her roles as Amazon #2 in the spy spoof sequel In Like Flint (20th Century Fox, 1967), and as wrongfully-imprisoned Carol "Jeff" Jeffries in the prison drama Women in Cages (New World, 1971); she also played the 1st Policewoman in the January 18, 1968 episode of Batman (ABC, 1966-68), "Nora Clavicle And The Ladies' Crime Club" (#1719), which also featured Monkees guest star Larry Gelman (“I've Got A Little Song Here”, “Captain Crocodile”, "The Monkees Christmas Show").

Norman "Woo Woo" Grabowski (Big Butch), in addition to being an actor, was also an noted custom car designer in the mold of The Monkees' own George Barris and Dean Jeffries. Grabowski's most famous on-screen role was as US Navy Rescue Chief Flaker, who gets an earful from fireman Steve McQueen in the Irwin Allen disaster epic The Towering Inferno (20th Century-Fox/Warner Bros., 1974). He is also the second guest actor in “The Wild Monkees” to appear on Batman, in the episode "The Minstrel's Shakedown/Barbecued Batman?" (#9713, Sept. 21-2, 1966).

Carol Worthington (Nan) was a regular performer on The Red Skelton Show (NBC/CBS, 1951-54/1959-71) and later played Ethel, the Babysitter on The Doris Day Show (CBS, 1968-73). Worthington also turned up in the film How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying (United Artists, 1967), which also featured Monkee guest alumni Jeff DeBenning (“Too Many Girls” (a.k.a. "Davy And Fern")) and Maureen Arthur (“Alias Micky Dolenz”).

Christine Edith Williams (Jan) was a model, actress, and Playboy Centerfold (Miss October 1963), as well as an artist and horse trainer. She previously appeared in the 1966 Paramount Pictures Ann-Margaret vehicle The Swinger, with future fellow "Wild Monkees" guest Corinne Cole and Monkee guests-to-be Milton Frome (“The Monkees On The Line”, "The Monkees Blow Their Minds"), Byron Foulger (“I Was A Teenage Monster”), Clegg Hoyt (“The Prince And The Paupers”), and Olan Soule (“The Monkees In Manhattan” [a.k.a “The Monkees Manhattan Style”]). Williams passed away in November 2017 at age 72.

“The Wild Monkees” retains the fifth and final appearance of the late Henry (“Mr. Babbitt”) Corden on The Monkees. He passed away in May 2005.

Extra Color/B&W Episode Photo Stills: